Sigh, nowadays whenever I am home, I will be like all out and just laze around like nobody business but whenever I am in school, people around me is getting distant and the life once before the great fun is now getting dim...

Though I am laughing and smiling in class, there is no such times to get me really excited like I once before since the beginning...

My class...each of them has their own gang, there's one gang I really kinda amazed of them cos of their extremely dangerously charismatic life in them...way way above I have been witnessing for my last 20 years...

They are so like family of their own...I can't deny that...

Only I don't like is being treated differently on a dark side...and I know it myself...but I just don't care about it anymore...My energy of wanting to revenge has gone down to zero as I am getting older and my health somehow may affect due to my body getting overlimit...

Well, I can say is that I cannot be the person who can be the 100% infinitely total fun all year long...I don't want to fake smiling and ending up "killing" you...

I am a woman whom you should not have high expection on cos I really hate that the most from the person whom I make friends with...

Now I just wanna get out of here and find the light for me and only me to where I really belong... where my heart begin to beat happily again....