After a big BA-BING-BOOM, I realised that it is a very important to talk all the craps out of my chest to someone....if not, I will have a mental breakdown or mental irritation that I will not think properly.

I am not as resistant to major problems anymore cos my heart cannot take it especially I am as the one has been "beaten up" in deep emotionally a thousand times worst alone than being in jail...

Of course to hell if you dont know what I am talking about...you just don't get a freaking bloody picture...don't cha?

Yesterday, I went to school for Cambodia briefing and leaving my application to AOG briefing to astray...big time...I don't care anymore...

But worst has come, my parents won't let me go to the Cambodia trip due to swine flu dilemma going on though it has been reported to be fading in news...

I think and think like I was freaking bloody hella wanted to participate in Cambodia trip and help people there and get rare opportunity to experience there...

But...

*Dream Goes To Smoke*

Ok...I hope at least I ask Mrs Jean Yeo for events to assist or Ms Angie Lee (-_-) for attachment, hoping a better one,will be best if I am attached to fashion company or something like that....I better don't put my high hopes yet....

That will at least get me busy and get more experiences during June holidays....

Just now, I read thru my old momento from primary till recent now...that got me thinking ever since I read from my school journal where Mr Jalleh (my fav teacher of secondary 2 and I treat him like my big brother as he was v v nice person to talk to)

After each of my past entries which consists of my worries and problems, his advices will never fail to keep me going...I never know that his words were the "wake-ups calls" to myself waking up not being a sore brat...until now...

I really miss him hella lots and happy that he is happily married (I was worried when he would get married as he was single that time,haha)

I will use his advices...apply to my now...

I don't know how the coming monday will go...

But all I can know that I desperately wanna play badminton with jj,randy and my fav "brother" of mine,chunxian for a duel that I had made to them....PLEASE!!

Ok...umm...as yani quote: bye-bye to cambodia and AOG :(

Really hoping to find things to do something good for myself...

Till now I chao!