Friday, May 29, 2009
Stand On MY Jelly Legs
Yes, someone did help me to cheer up enough for me to stand up and step out of my darkness...
But I know...my emotions tend to be selfish...cos of the past I have been through this way too many times....
My conclusion is that The Angels Will Fall Deep First While The Devils Will Laugh and Control... Everything...
It never get out of my mindset no doubt....
I now you don't understand at this point....And I don't give a care about it anymore...
You are not alone with groups of friends...that console you like a human being...
But me as the "thing".....used and abandoned...like trashing empty drinking bottles...
I don't understand this type of concept...in this world....like all good things must be the bad ones...so called..."The Ultimate Trend"...
Being Sidetrack for a second, I wish I wanna go back to 70s-90s where simple minds and being cherish were all there...not being loose...
I don't know when I can breathe again...
Im scared...that's all I have to say....
"There's one big shadow is waiting to see me down and out"
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My Lame-Starter Leader and other "urge" thoughts
I was first wanted to update anotther current entry last night but I was out of energy,something like that
Ok like Hui Lian said in her blog for our project-wise no progress but...now abit more progress up but still it is still back to step one.
I wanna speed it up but I dun have that leadership control so I let Evefar do her thang...I dun mind....at least I can "slack" myself...for a while
No offence, I confessed I cannot be in charge with my members...cos the "best" one will be always be the outgoing one that's make me not the one...hookay?
I can onli be prepared for the worst situation where all the last big minute work to be done and alot of screeching words soon allowed to entertain in our ears...
How nice...but I hope not "dangyunhaji"~!
Sigh, another thing is that I am hoping to pray that the time will pass quickly for this time period till I graduate.
But meantime, I now searching for school voluntary works and events to keep myself busy....
Sigh, sad thing like this:
Events: Zero
Voluntary Work:1
Attachment: Pending...(It is meant for the Higer Nitec Year 1 first) I really want to have it!
2 more weeks to June/July Holidays....I dun wan boredom no more~!
Oh yeah, still have "Go Green" Poster Competition and other Design Application assignments to do...make me busy,baby haha!
Ok I better pack stuff that I don't need to be sent to the Team Lenity (if I'm not spelling it wrong) >.<
"Weird is my middle name, what's yours random,Extinct?"
Monday, May 25, 2009
Finding my man
Have you ever thought that in the nearest future,sooner or later...
Whether you or someone out there,regardless on who find first will be such a wonderful thing. Especially that person has been through the same situation in both of good and bad as you?
I am thinking that...after having too much love silly fantasy in my mind and gotten myself in an awful mess...sigh...
Now I just going to start to believe that someone out there who will be lonely and trapped like me will find me...
Hoping that we will meet at the right place, right time and right moment one day...
I really pray so...
I may not know who you really are
But I hope you will be...
Someone I can be honest with my real self
I can count on in everything I may fall
You may be holding on side by side with me
Willing to make everything going simple
Yet breath taking
May you be finding me
And I find you
Even in the strangest place
In whereas the perfect moment of truth
Hope you find me soon...
" Seeing you around,Angel in Disguise "
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Night at the Museum 2
I watched this movie yesterday after I have done my voluntary work at the Toa Payoh Elderly Care Centre.
I love the movie very much as it is very adventurous with alot of love and funny bits altogether.
I rated it 5/5! I love Ben Stiller and I wished that I can just push him on the wall and kiss him haha...
Don't worry it is just a love fantasy and not a star stalker out of nowhere,haha!
So ok, there's more I can say but I don't want to be the spoiler as this movie is recently launched last Thursday.
That's all for now...
"Don't steal my man,haha! LMAO"
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Blankies
| You Were Born into the Earth Element |
 You are a responsible person who values the joys of working hard.
You are practical, stable, and (obviously) down to earth.
You have to watch out for boredom. Your life needs more romance, adventure, friendship, and fun.
You are a solid friend and an ideal partner. You are honest, nurturing, and loyal. |
What Element Were You Born Into?
| Your Friendship Style is Gregarious |
 You love being with people, and you find it easy to make friends.
Hanging out with your friends gives you a real charge, and you tend to be busy every night of the week.
You enjoy interesting conversations and shared activities with your friends. Your motto is: "The more the merrier"
While you love your friends, you don't love it if they put demands on you. You don't think that friendship should be about obligation.
You and an Empathetic Friend: Are get along best one on one. Your Empathetic Friend loves talking about your social circle but may feel left out when the whole gang is around.
You and another Gregarious Friend: Are a perfect match. You've finally found a friend who's as outgoing and fun loving as you are.
You and an Independent Friend: Are well suited for each other. You don't put too demands on your Independent Friend, and your Independent Friend finds you fascinating.
You and a Philosophical Friend: Are pretty different. You're high energy. Your Philosophical Friend is more cautious. You'll have to meet in the middle and learn from one another. |
| Your Brain is Profound |
 Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading. |
What Pattern Is Your Brain?
| You Are 76% Feminine, 24% Masculine |
 You are in touch with your feminine side.
Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.
And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women. |
Are You Masculine or Feminine?
| You Are 36% Girly |
 You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. |
How Girly Are You?
| Your Kiss is Black |
 Your kisses are amazing. You put a lot of effort into your kissing technique.
You are a perfectionist, and you never leave any kissing detail to chance.
When you're kissing, you like to be in charge. You don't enjoy someone else taking the lead.
You know you're the best kisser. In fact, you're often disappointed by how other people kiss.
Kissing Type: Thoughtful
People See Your Kisses as: Amazingly unreal
You Kiss Best With: A Pink Kisser
Stay away from: A Green Kisser |
What Color Is Your Kiss?
| You Are 53% Open |
 You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life. |
How Open Are You?
| You Are a Banana Smoothie |
 You are friendly and popular without even trying to be. People just like you.
You are easy to be around and never offend everyone. You're quite mild.
You have a warm demeanor, and many people find you to be inviting.
You are sympathetic and kind. You have a soft spot in your heart for everyone. |
What Flavor Smoothie Are You?
| You Are Dreads |
 You are accepting, peaceful, and connected with nature. You've reached a state of bliss.
Your idea of style is being completely natural and comfortable. You aren't trying to impress anyone.
At your best, you are simple and content. You don't need much in this world to be happy.
At your worst, you are a little irresponsible. You are on "island time"! |
What Hairstyle Are You?
| Your Birthday's Wisdom is Thought |
 You believe a mind is a terrible thing to waste, and you try to exercise your brain as much as possible.
You are intrigued by almost everything, and you are curious about the world around you.
You want to travel to foreign lands, read lots of books, and master many subjects.
You love to go on all sorts of adventures, especially the kind that don't require you to leave your room. |
| You Need Friends to Be Happy |
 You are a friendly, social person. You seek out connections and relationships.
Being close to others is very important to you, and you don't like discord.
You feel great when you're cooperating and working with others. You enjoy belonging to a group.
Nothing makes you feel worse that feeling alone or alienated. You want to be liked by those around you. |
What Do You Need to Be Happy?
" HonToni Gomenasai, Aidasiwa Dun have Words to Put Today haha "
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
My Recent-z Updates
It has been a week plus now...wow hella bz that week...
Ok here it goes...
Umm....I can remember that last I had a sleepy annesia on last monday if I am not wrong. Don't ask me what's that mean because I don't know myself...Just felt I was not myself in my body instead another "soul" controlling my body and Im not haunted by ghost okay! haha
Tuesday, I can't remember but I know it was busy that time...dunno haha
Wednesday, after school my white girls and I had Hobbicraft club doing clay painting to our vases/pots using special painting which are meant to paint the clay products...haha what the heck I am saying here?! Together with Rachael and others...fun as always with her around..... talking craps that kills the time haha!
After that, we went to the Latin Club to visit Kelly to see her practise her saucy dance moves haha and at the same time Yve,Ah Ting and I discussed about our event project...very intense especially seeing Yve vomitted her ideas to my face without stopping haha!
Thursday, before that, Ms Ema informed our class that there was a talk regarding on making a event proposal....thought that it would benefit us,the event students...
But we came,registered and gotten our doorgifts....we realized that the talk was about the company Fedex and their own marketing strategies stuff thing..which was a old topic to us. There was a young guy from Fedex, he's cute, I like! haha But sad thing I bet he's married by the look of his ring on the finger..
I dunno whether it's real or not....sad :( haha
Friday, Yve,Ah Ting and I went to the Singapore Flyer for our first time riding there.
It was scary at first but we overcomed the fear of height haha...WE SURVIVED HOORAY!
We walked around its shop and we bought postcards for momentos...cos the rest of the stuff in the shop are so very bloody damn expensive!
We then walked around the shops in Bugis Junction and new mall nearby...abit boring as it still quite brand new mall...we finally went home late as ever...cool.
Last Sunday, after 1 year plus of separation, I reunited with Dianah...my ex-bestie...I met her near her at the bus stop and went to the bugis junction for lunch....and then again to the new mall.
We talked alot about our school and personal problems and irritating bugger...I don't want to see him...very disgusting hearted one!
After that, I visited to Dianah's house for quite a long time to catch up some memories and stuff. Dianah really stuff me with food...till my stomach bloated haha....
Finally I kenal pinched my cheeks by her....very long time never had that...
Ok today, I have finally finished my attachment project and handed up to teacher....and relax already,hhee
That's all ya'll!
I know we both have nothing to say to each other right now. There's nothing we can be friends...Im sorry it was my fault to let my feelings out too fast...
Though now we are gone. I still remember that words and jokes you cheer me up early in the morning before the school starts....
Your eyes are filled with mysterious beautiful cold white shine.
That I will never see that but you...
I glad that I thanked you before we are officially off to our own separate lives.
I am very happy to meet and able to know who you really are...
" I miss the morning talks I had with you...you will be always the ray of light to me"
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Junks...
:: Yearning For You ::
We walk pass each other
A sudden silence...
When I wanna speak a word to you
But nothing comes out
Everytime you are around
Not like before we talk
And exclaimed over our heads
Of our sparkling light
In our everyday conversation
But now...
We are the rotten statues
Looking each other
Waiting for time to vanish us all
Being myself being over selfish
Of wanting you next to me
Like the first time moments
The confusion startled on me
When light from before...
Begin to shine still deep
In your mystical eyes
I ever lock my eyes on...
I know we are in three degree separation
Though we know deep inside
We try to make it close
Like before
I guess that I am out of bounds
No more of your personal voice
Near me...again..
I admit I still love you
I admit I need you
I admit I miss the times you are with me
I never stop this feeling from growing,never
"I want to grab your hand to forgive me and start over again,Im sorry..."
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Maintained On Still Water...For Now...
After a big BA-BING-BOOM, I realised that it is a very important to talk all the craps out of my chest to someone....if not, I will have a mental breakdown or mental irritation that I will not think properly.
I am not as resistant to major problems anymore cos my heart cannot take it especially I am as the one has been "beaten up" in deep emotionally a thousand times worst alone than being in jail...
Of course to hell if you dont know what I am talking about...you just don't get a freaking bloody picture...don't cha?
Yesterday, I went to school for Cambodia briefing and leaving my application to AOG briefing to astray...big time...I don't care anymore...
But worst has come, my parents won't let me go to the Cambodia trip due to swine flu dilemma going on though it has been reported to be fading in news...
I think and think like I was freaking bloody hella wanted to participate in Cambodia trip and help people there and get rare opportunity to experience there...
But...
*Dream Goes To Smoke*
Ok...I hope at least I ask Mrs Jean Yeo for events to assist or Ms Angie Lee (-_-) for attachment, hoping a better one,will be best if I am attached to fashion company or something like that....I better don't put my high hopes yet....
That will at least get me busy and get more experiences during June holidays....
Just now, I read thru my old momento from primary till recent now...that got me thinking ever since I read from my school journal where Mr Jalleh (my fav teacher of secondary 2 and I treat him like my big brother as he was v v nice person to talk to)
After each of my past entries which consists of my worries and problems, his advices will never fail to keep me going...I never know that his words were the "wake-ups calls" to myself waking up not being a sore brat...until now...
I really miss him hella lots and happy that he is happily married (I was worried when he would get married as he was single that time,haha)
I will use his advices...apply to my now...
I don't know how the coming monday will go...
But all I can know that I desperately wanna play badminton with jj,randy and my fav "brother" of mine,chunxian for a duel that I had made to them....PLEASE!!
Ok...umm...as yani quote: bye-bye to cambodia and AOG :(
Really hoping to find things to do something good for myself...
Till now I chao!
" He told me," Someone has to lose first in order to gain the determination to move on or get something"
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Miserable
Everyone, Im v f**king bloody miserable,haha *audience clap hands!*
I am so very pissed off right now...and I am showing my raw emotions and not hiding behind computer,k!
So much for a small f**king cooperation for one small questions just need to be answered that all resulted in all marvellous excuses which is a "music" to my precious ears...
Sigh, don't blame me when this gets not what you wanted...cos I f**king ask you all for opinions and freaking shits first ah!
Scold me ah...I am not scared anymore but a very thick skinned person in front of you ah!...shoot me hell if you want...cos I have NOTHING to hide....
Sheesh...this is almost like back to secondary school...but eh...give thoughts people!
Care yourself only is ur motto but nah ah not me!
I don't think I can just let go...cos I will bring you down with me...
You can just label me as the worst leader you can ever met...
I "had to" volunteer myself as one just to get the shit!
Not helping out of kind,k?!
I NOT F**KING BLOODY MAID CLEANING YOUR TRASH!!!,K!? READ MY LIPS, YOU BETTER OWN IT WHEN PROBLEMS COME...I WILL JUST SIT THERE AND SHAKE LEGS AND SAY "WHAT?"
Come on and be generous give your special comments...pretty freaking please!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Random Post
| You Want to Impress Strangers |
 You want strangers to think you're attractive. You want to be seen as gorgeous and sexy.
You want your friends and family members to think you're smart. You like been seen as insightful and wise.
You are at your most playful when you are around family and friends. You are more serious around people you don't know well.
You let strangers see parts of you right away, but you believe in keeping some things private.
You are open to becoming close to people, but it takes some time. You don't let just anyone in. |
Who Do You Want to Impress?
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Propensity for Monogamy:
Your propensity for monogamy is low.
You see love as a gift that you should give to many.
It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time...
Let alone one person for the rest of your life!
Experience Level:
Your experience level is medium.
You probably have had a couple significant loves.
And you may have even had your heart broken.
But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.
Dominance:
Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting you way!
Cynicism:
Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.
Independence:
Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together. |
| Your Birthday's Wisdom is Thought |
You believe a mind is a terrible thing to waste, and you try to exercise your brain as much as possible.
You are intrigued by almost everything, and you are curious about the world around you.
You want to travel to foreign lands, read lots of books, and master many subjects.
You love to go on all sorts of adventures, especially the kind that don't require you to leave your room. |
| You Belong in the Baby Boomer Generation |
 You fit in best with people born between 1943 and 1960.
You are optimistic, rebellious, and even a little self centered.
You still believe that you will change the world.
You detest authority and rules. Deep down, you're a non conformist. |
| You Are Monday |
 Like this day of the week, you are ruled by the moon.
More than anything, you are flexible.
You are moody and impressionable. You are easily influenced by the world around you.
And while you can be temperamental, you eventually adjust.
While Mondays tend to be the hardest day for people, you don't mind getting back to regular life.
You're the one waking up early and making the coffee while everyone else complains. |
" These things open up my mind"
Friday, May 1, 2009
Poem About Bump Up Incident
"That Time You Caught Red Handed 2 Times"
I walked into the shopping mall
As I early saw you with your friends
Having bread and tea
I kept thinking that you and I
Are over and over again...
Till...
In a shop that attracts me
With the person related to me...
I saw you yet I excused myself away
But you called my name
Teasing me as the usual main course
Unknowst to you
The person related to me is...
My mother...
You stumbled and froze
My mother stamped you pleaded "GULITY"
The first time I saw you heed for freed
I never knew first why...
As I realized what was really going on
My mother told me...
I sizzled with shock and pity on you...
=================================
That leads to another milestone...
In my mind was you
Thinking of how unfortunate that
You were caught by my mum
Cos you tease me deep
I thought of you too deep
That...
You were exactly beside me!
Looking at me...
Trying to steady yourself
As my mother was there
Infront of us...
I smiled,covering myself quietly
We looked at each other....
"It is such a long time,ah?"
Bye...you say...
Though it was very interesting incident...
As to you,very unfortunate...
I am glad that you were standing beside me...
" Don't worry...just be steady..."
'
