Ok, I got something to say out that makes my hands itch so bad that I wanna "puke" it out to make myself better.

No no it is not something bad...seriously

I have seen that the people I have met have changed tremedously and I never believed at all but I do now.

It hurts but it has to happen sooner or later, why not later and kill the sooner,haha! XD

I know nothing last forever and never will be forever because we are bound to change so matter how fast we will run from it.

I am scared of being older and hestitated to change but I will have to.

By that, I may feel better..being good and matured...

I really don't want to be an old hag with no life to move on....just wanna grow old gracefully...

You know...with my past years of my pure youth as teenager girl....

I will miss...the cuteness if me....the friends I first made...the emotions I first felt....the obstacles I first fought it off...the times I shockly said vulgarites(it was true then) I stopped just for my sake of my well-being as I grow older...and all the sweet sweet things I could never ask for more.

I don't know...

Sigh, my heart just keep on beating up and down like a very bad insanity in love

It is stupid, so I better control it...get myself busy with important stuff

Bad thing I have to bother with is the Marketing CA is coming Wednesday....one day before my 20th birthday...it was so close...

Thank God, my birthday is not affected by the exam...

It will be heart breaking if that happen...

I know it is very overreacting but...to me 20 is the huge mark that I made it through alive with the years I have hugely bravely went through mostly alone...

It was the huge dark periods of years I went through...pain,cry and betrayal....

Still now, I never believed that I went it through it all...it scares me...